Seeing God Through The Lens Of Nursing

One woman’s short lived nursing journey

A little over two weeks ago, I had to leave my job as a nurse at Baylor University Medical Center because of my Covid Religious Exemption Form was denied and I did not feel comfortable being mandated to take a vaccine. Just to be very clear, I do not support the mandates that are happening in our country. Although this decision with Baylor was sincerely disappointing, I will not allow it to rob me from the beautiful memories that I did have in that place and the people that worked from within. So, with that, since this does seem like my Heavenly Father is closing this chapter, I figured this would be an appropriate time to testify about my, from the looks of it, short lived experience working as a nurse.

To give some background, from 2006-2013 I served active duty in the military in the medical field. With the knowledge that I have obtained, I thought it be wise to go to school to get my nursing degree. You see, if you already know me from 2013 and beyond, wherever I went I was known as the “Jesus girl” or sometimes “Jesus freak” in a derogatory way, depending on the audience. A little before the beginning of my last semester of nursing school, as many know, a terrible tragedy struck the heart of my family and I, which wounded me emotionally, as well as spiritually —spiritually wounded and deprived for 2 long years. And this is where I pick up from my first job as a nurse. On October 16th, 2018 I excitingly embarked on the journey as an Orthopedic Trauma Med-Surg Nurse, working the long hours of the night shift. New job in a huge city, working as a registered nurse and preaching messages of hope and faith, all the while struggling with an intense amount of grief from within. I could not understand it. For the first time in my walk with Jesus I felt alone, connected to a church, but I still felt so alone. I could not understand it. It was a lonely place and a dark space, encapsulated with doubting the promises of God that He had made to me years ago. This doubt that had only intensified, put me directly into the trap of the wicked one —byway of experiencing nurse bullying at work. 

How could this once fearless, blind faith of a woman be subject to continual attacks at work by influence of the shadows of the night? How? So much warfare in that place and overtime I felt the very light inside of me dissipating and I knew something had to change. It’s truly funny because whenever I felt discouragement, God would send an encouraging word my way in form of a person, well two. Huge Shout out to Brother Vick and Sister Beryl during that season! And whenever I felt like God did not hear me, I would find Him showing up behind patient room doors, while secretly praying for healing. Shout out to the patient that had trouble peeing and right before placing the catheter, we prayed together and out came a splash of urine! And I’ll never forget during those times when I felt like God abandoned me, He used a terrible event to show that He was walking with me. Seven months working at that terrible hospital, locked down under contract for another several months, I found myself having to perform CPR on a patient, which shook every person involved. I will never forget when my manager at the time, personally asked people one by one if they were okay and straight up bypassed me.  An hour later as I make my drive home, I received a voicemail from her threatening to write me up because a previous nurse did not document on a patient we shared. And this is when I had enough—something inside of me ticked. 

It was a pay day, the most amount of money I have ever made in my life. I remember holding that electronic check up and crying out to God saying, “Thank you for providing for me but this job is stripping away my very identity from me, and I do not want it! Please help me find another job, help me not have to pay this company back for breaking the contract, and help me not see my manager for the rest of the time I’m working, IN JESUS NAME, AMEN.” And then I fell and wept. And wept. And wept some more. I figured fast food would comfort the pain I was feeling. And just like that, while driving, I heard a voice clear as day saying, “UPDATE YOUR RESUME.” And that familiar voice that was so distant over the last two years….that familiar voice was the Living God. And I obeyed His voice, which led me to an interview and acceptance with Baylor University, and lead to turning my letter of resignation to the Nursing Director because my manager “randomly” went on vacation for two weeks, causing me to never have to see her again. And the best part about this testimony is that I owed the company nothing, my debt had been cleared and I received all my PTO money as well. And just when I thought I could breathe from all the trauma I have endured in that hospital, I had found myself entangled in another nightmarish situation having to make a choice. To choose to drive in one direction blindly trusting in God to save and heal my sibling that attempted suicide, or to drive in another direction to stand as a bridesmaid at my best friend’s wedding. And with that, I chose to respond to my sibling and amazingly my best friend understood it and selflessly prayed over it.  HUGE SHOUT OUT to this beautiful woman of grace named Ojima! I am honored to do life with you! So, with this choice came many life changes. And this was indeed one of the most stressful times of my life; grieving over the loss of one sister while trying my best fully taking care of another mentally ill sister in a small 1-bedroom apartment, in the middle of transitioning to another job. But I had a lot of help, and my help came from above. And one day I will elaborate on all the supernatural encounters that took place during that time. I am thankful to say that my sibling today is stronger than ever before. She knows Christ as her Savior and is getting to know Him as her Lord.  And it was her transformation that led to 6 other family members walking with Christ as their Savior and 4 are now getting to know Him as their Lord; I am no longer by myself fully walking with Christ anymore in the family. And this was a huge, answered prayer. 

So, with the arrival at Baylor University Medical Center, The Lord assigned me to train with one of His children, a woman named Sierra. He used this woman during one of the most difficult times of my life to encourage and speak life over me whenever I found myself biting into the lies of the wicked one. He has used her in such a way that she will always be remembered in my own personal life journey, which is an encouragement to never get weary of doing good because God can use you to change the very course of a person’s path into the direction of Life. And the Lord’s graciousness did not just stop with Sierra, but I also found Him working in and through several other coworkers of mine: Sara (tech), Elva, Ingrid, Caitlyn, Brenda, Mrs. Pat, Ronata and Ashlee, and I am very blessed to say many more! These were the ones that He directly used to encourage, support, surprise and build me back up again from the damage that I endured in my previous job.  He placed me into a supportive nursing community, on the 16th floor, and every day I went to work I couldn’t help but express how grateful I was to Him because of it!  As I am reflecting, I am in sincere awe and so grateful to have worked with such beautiful people. YOU ALL ARE PHENOMENAL PEOPLE AND I PRAY NOTHING BUT GOOD FOR YOU!! And may the Lord shine His light, His strength and His encouragement upon you because nursing is not easy, but I am so thankful to have served with a bunch of men and women like you! What an honor!

I am also going to miss serving my patients that I was assigned to. Baylor, honestly was my dream job as nurse because I also was able to freely pray with people who wanted it. And it wasn’t just prayers, but I witnessed many results with patients behind each closed door. I always approached the situation as, “I pray in the name of Jesus Christ, would it be okay if I prayed over you?” And after getting permission to do so, I began to watch God work. I will never forget the time when an elderly woman was hooked on this drug called Dilaudid but she did not know it at the time. Even through the signs of withdrawals. she still did not know it at the time. But after three days of serving her and praying for the Lord to “expose what has been hidden in the dark and shine the light on the root cause of her problem,” she finally admitted that she in fact was addicted, stating “I think about this drug every second of the day,” and started making changes to her frequent requests of this drug. I will also never forget the time when I placed my hand on a coworker’s boot for the Lord to take away her pain and in that moment, she stated her foot became warm and the pain went away. Or that time when I prayed with a patient for encouragement from the Lord and the next day I walked in, she looked at me, bawling her eyes out, saying she had a vivid dream of her late mother encouraging her in the Lord. And then my personal favorite testimony, the time I served a depressed young woman a little younger than me. She did not shower for days and always had the windows shut and lights off. And after an intense prayer and several hours later, I check on her and found all the blinds in her room opened, her sitting on her bed after a shower, and stated that she felt “lighter.” And to be honest, to the patients out there that no one wants to serve, God has taught me through most of them that you cannot help a person that does not want to be helped.  For it is their choice and it is their consequence to bare. Just continue to speak life, plant seeds, and keep it moving. Yea, I am going to miss my time as a nurse working in the hospital setting. For it was indeed a calling to where I had a chance to witness the miracles of God every single shift behind patient doors.

So here I am, very limited in work due to my refusal of the Covid vaccine at the moment. So, what happens next? Is this nursing chapter really closing? Well, I guess it depends on whether I find a sweet 4 shifts out of the month deal. Only time will tell but as the time goes on, I am thankful to say that my Heavenly Father does not abandon His children. He allowed me to get my state license to begin selling life insurance, something that will never go away, helping people financially on the side (HUGE THANK YOU to all the people who said YES to meeting with me via zoom to discuss what I’m doing), all while focusing more on my ministry Beautifully Rewritten and my new role as a wife to my husband. I do not know what the future holds but I do know that what my full experience as a nurse has taught me is that I am loved by a Deliverer, by an Encourager, by a Provider, by my Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus Christ and as long as I am with Him then He will be with me. And the same thing applies to every child of His, when you are with Him then He is with you, but you must pray. Rest in that. Many Blessings. Shalom.

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